Sunday, February 27, 2011
Oscars 2011
Here I sit, droopy-eyed and droopy-hearted. My underdog Social Network didn't win, as expected by everyone but me, and it's almost midnight and I could have gone to sleep way before that obvious choice was made. So much for the Academy ever giving an upset on such a huge category...
Round Up
Anne Hathaway definitely had more than "one drink" before the show. Her presentation, however, contracted with Franco's nonchalance to make the pair somewhat tolerable. There were not many surprises with Oscars, and "The King's Speech" came out victorious. Congratulations to all of the winners.
Well
I haven't really been able to pay attention since Franco's multi-layered performance art piece during the Best Actor category. And since I realized that The King's Speech--the one Oscar movie I haven't seen, and one I'm irrationally convinced I'd dislike--was going to win Best Picture. Which, of course, it did. Not surprised, not happy. Goodnight, everybody.
Best Picture Preview
10 Best Pictures? 10 pretty long clips? I've been in suspense the entire Academy Awards... Don't drag it out anymore! I wonder if the outcome will be Zuckerberg's Facebook status...
FRANCO!
So blah blah Colin Firth prestige pick blah blah haven't seen it who cares. Because something much bigger is happening.
James Franco's whole deal is that he's both part of the system and outside of it. He's an intellectual, after all. And the go-to reaction of most young, hip intellectuals to the Academy Awards is one big disaffected sneer. WHICH IS WHAT JAMES FRANCO, A CALCULATEDLY HIP INTELELLECTUAL, HAS BEEN DOING THIS ENTIRE NIGHT AS THE HOST OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS. Do you not realize how huge this is? He made a mockery of the whole self-serious enterprise! DID YOU SEE THAT EXAGGERATED SHRUG? THAT SMUG MUGGING (SMUGGING?). He just does not seem to care. At all. I don't know whether that's cool and punk rock or disrespectful and childish.
Marry Me, Sandra
Mid-forties? No way. Visions of Chris de Burgh (1986's singer of Lady in Red?) are dancing in my head.
Natalie Portman
Natalie Portman finally wins best actress for her role in "The Black Swan" after falling to Rachel Weisz for best supporting actress in 2005. Step aside Sandra Bullock, Portman will be presenting best actor in the 2012 Oscars. Looking forward to the dress.
Unpopular Opinion
But I thought True Grit was just incredibly boring. Jesse Eisenberg deserves this. Let's see this.
Portman
Movies are all about putting yourself in someone else's shoes for two hours. Which is what makes people giving Academy Awards speeches such a complex and mystifying process; they are the most inherently UN-relatable things on TV. You will never win an Academy Award, or even be nominated for one. Still, touching speech.
Commercials... Overlooked?
Though commercials are commonly considered "breaks in the programming," these spots, especially during highly-viewed shows, are highly competed for and quite pricey. Just look at the Super Bowl. Breaking down to $1 mil per 10 seconds, companies like godaddy.com bought more than one commercial, paying Fox more than $6 or 7 million bucks to advertise to the masses on such a grand stage. How long until this happens to every major sporting event and every major awards show? Commercials have become more integral pieces of gigantic tv events and it's surprising that JC Penny was the proud owner of that little piece of my life. Surprising indeed, especially with the vast amount of eyes glued to the Academy Awards nationwide.
?!?!?!?!?!
I. Am. Furious. A direct quote from me, before the winner was announced: "Anyone besides Tom Hooper can win, and it would make total sense." How did this happen? I mean OKAY SO FINE, YOU GOT ME, I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE THE KING'S SPEECH but still...I mean...I mean...(whew, it's getting late. Forgot how late these things go...)
Best Director
Tom Hooper did not surprise many with the victory, and his speech was clearly rehearsed. Hooper's emotional thanks to his mother was practiced once or twice in front of the mirror. I wonder who he'll thank once "The King's Speech" wins best picture. God?
Halle Berry
If The King's Speech was set in 2011 and was instead named The Queen's Speech, I would want Halle Berry cast as the queen. Easily the most regal presenter tonight, I could listen to her speak for days. If only she was nominated... my ears are already begging to listen to an acceptance speech.
Best Director
Am I the only one here incredibly pumped for the Best Director showdown? Here you have five bona fide auterus, all of them united by their diversity. These aren't Wes Andersons, or Martin Scorseses--they always bring a certain vision to the table, but they have a wide range of styles and abilities. Think Aronofsky, whose fairly conventional The Wrestler has almost nothing to do with the two hour nervous breakdown that is Black Swan. Or the Coen brothers, two men intent on reinventing themselves with every single movie they put out. (For the record: True Grit was instantly forgettable, while A Serious Man might be the best movie I've seen in the last five years.) Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is: Fincher deserves it. Give it to him.
New Favorite Award
After wondering in the theater how they booked a zero-g plane for so long to film the scene in the spinning hall in Inception, I am truly amazed at how much work is devoted to the Visual Effects category of the Academy Awards. Too many aspects of filmmaking are taken for granted by the public, but paying some attention to the nominees and winners of this particular category can provide the impetus for newfound respect for less well-known characteristics of films from moviegoers. Another spectacular and well-deserved win for Inception.
:(
You know, watching that Billy Crystal/Bob Hope segment actually made me sort of sad that the Oscars--like most everything else--has decided to throw all their eggs in the 18-49 basket. I miss the old-fashioned, stuffy, out-of-touch, groan-inducing-but-also-in-a-way-comforting Oscars! I get enough hip disaffection and cynicism (nice NYU shoutout, Franco) in my day to day life. I look to Hollywood for escape! And yet...
OH COME ON
Really, Oscars? HOW COULD YOU PASS UP THE OPPORTUNITY TO UNMASK BANKSY. WE ALL KNOW THESE AWARDS HAVE LITTLE TO DO WITH QUALITY ANYWAY, WHY NOT JUST CHOOSE THE MOVIE MOST LIKELY TO GENERATE CONTROVERSY/EXCITEMENT/ETC?! DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THIS COULD HAVE BEEN?
T-Pain produced a bit?
The autotuned break between awards made the show. Instead of my faux-chuckles at mostly bland speech jokes, I found myself laughing like a six year old. The Oscars are certainly hip this year and I'm not ashamed to like it.
Matheny
Luke Matheny dropped the funniest line of the show so far. His one liner, "I should have cut my hair" lightened the mood for his speech allowing the audience to focus on what he is saying rather than the awkwardness that most non-stage savy directors. Luke should start applying for "Hangover 3" tryouts.
The Delaware shout out makes me want to see "God of Love"
On Shorts
To anyone reading this, I STRONGLY reccomend the Wholphin series of DVDs. They come from the House that Eggers Built (i.e. McSweenys), but don't let that turn you off. Each volume comes with nearly a dozen high-quality shorts, many of them Oscar-nominated. Gylenhall is right--they're almost always inspiring.
Short Films
Gyllenhaal's not so heartfelt plea to the audience was well-written, but hardly believable. I'll stick to my feature films, Jake.
So...
A few questions:
1) Why is that nebbishy Seth Cohen-lite (and that, let me tell you, is light) guy from Chuck onstage, and why does he have a Jersey Shore spraytan?
2) Why are the Academy Awards tone deaf?*
*Well, they're not ENTIRELY tone deaf: I direct you to this heartbreaking video of Elliott Smith playing the Oscars in '98. He didn't want to do it (punk rock 4 lyfe), but they said that if he didn't, they'd get Celine Dion to do it in his stead.
The Reason James Franco Seems So Distracted
...is because he's mentally composing his first and second novels while using his hands to paint pieces of tiny "experimental" finger art. (You can see his exhibit, "Herzog Takes a Nap," at the MOMA this summer.)
6 degrees to Bacon
As promised, Scarlett Johansson is indeed 2 degrees from the Baconator. She was in Ghost World with Illeana Douglas, who was in Stir of Echoes, with none other than Kevin Bacon. Hollywood? Sounds a bit more like "Smallywood," to me!
Altworld
Alternative culture has been legitimized for the second time in three weeks. First Arcade Fire wins a Grammy, now Trent Reznor wins an Oscar. Can't be long until Stephen Malkmus wins a Tony...
P.S. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HATE JAMES FRANCO FOR BEING SO NONCHALANT BUT GODDAMMIT I JUST LOVE HIM MORE WHY IS HE THE MOST LIKABLE PERSON IN AMERICA AT LEAST HIS FICTION ISN'T THAT GREAT RIGHT?????? I MEAN OKAY MAYBE IT'S NOT HORRIBLE AND GARY SHTYENGART DID BLURB IT BUT STILL, LIKE, OKAY?!
All of These Are Great...
Really, it's crazy how good most those scores are.
But they just announced the winner. Hmm. I don't even remember any music in The Social Network. I guess I was just too busy trying to figure out how "Banksy" got a role in the movie, to pay attention to music.
I'm kind of insulted for the real Banksy, that he has to endure this (false) Ironman moment.
But they just announced the winner. Hmm. I don't even remember any music in The Social Network. I guess I was just too busy trying to figure out how "Banksy" got a role in the movie, to pay attention to music.
I'm kind of insulted for the real Banksy, that he has to endure this (false) Ironman moment.
Movies/Sound Speech, Paraphrased
"So, check this out: movies didn't used to have sound. I know, crazy right? So then they got sound, and now pretty much all movies have sound. And sometimes songs! Anyway here's a big orchestra, I'm gonna go flail around in a pile of money!!"--Hugh Jackman
"I am not a human being. But it's okay. See you at the money pile, Jackie boy!"--Nicole Kidman
Humor
Reese Witherspoon's disarmingly straightforward "Best Supporting Actor" thing underlined what I think's been the defining characteristic of this year's ceremony: a (and really, I can't believe I'm saying this) actual sense of humor. The jokes haven't been groan-inducing, and some of them have been genuinely funny (Timberlake's Banksy joke, Bale's allusion to his much-publicized on-set freakout). Compared to the totally-out-of-touch Grammys, this year's Oscars seem almost...hip? In the know? It's scary.
Christian Bale's Comment
Did he really just pull off "..... .com" in that speech? Christian Bale is ridiculous
Good Ole Bale
I'm really glad he won. I haven't seen The Fighter yet, but his winning best supporting actor makes me want to go ahead and watch the movie. He's one of those people that you just know is a good, genuine person, and deserves the award. Even if he looks like a mountain man.
Anne Hathaway, Music Prodigy
I am both pleasantly surprised and amazed that Anne Hathaway actually sang that part. Multi-talented host? Check. Not so much for Franco's cross-dressing, though
Screenwriting
Well. At least that didn't go to The Kids Are Alright, right? Because The Kids Are Alright was quite possibly more gay-pandering than Lady Gaga herself. Really, that movie in a sentence: "Like a normal movie, but gay! That's transgressive and interesting, right?"
Aaron Sorkin
The music's been playing for about thirty seconds, now. I think you've had your time speaking over a song, unless it was Pomp and Circumstance. Most pompous speech yet.
Bardem, Sorkin
Theory: Javier Bardem is wearing white because he is a smooth talking angel sent down from Hispanic Heaven. Which is a place, I assure you. Also YESYESYES Aron Sorkin. For a writer-type, this guy's got charisma, am I right?
First Mistake of the Oscars
I am appalled and offended that Toy Story 3 just beat out How to Train Your Dragon. I just lost all faith in the Academy. Clearly awarding Toy Story the "much loved family-friendly" award, Pixar should count their blessings.
Toy Story 3?!?!?!
So somewhat unrelated, but let it be known that I did not cry at the end of Toy Story 3. Maybe it's just because I was essentially guaranteed that I would cry, and when you're thinking about whether you're sad or about to cry you can bet that any sort of emotional involvement goes off the table. what about yall?
How To Train A Dragon
"How to Train Your Dragon" should have won Best Animated. It was a roller coaster of emotions. "Toy Story 3" was subpar in graphics, content and excitement. Who is making decisions in The Academy?
YOUTH OSCARS
You know how you know this is the "young Oscars"? Because it's so totally self-aware of the fact that it's young. The internet/self-awareness/youth/James Franco pretty much go hand in hand, at this point. Thus all the "yes, you are also appealing to a younger demographic" remarks. Plus that Banksy joke, which had to have gone over the heads of anybody who doesn't read Gawker regularly. (Not saying I do, but you know.)
The very old man presenting Best Actress in a Supporting Role
I respect his age, but come on. One too many brow lifts. If any movie needs an actor for Father Time, I think we've found him.
Supporting Actress
Listen. I know she's probably been trained by publicists for this moment, but tell me that Hailee Steinfeld is not crushed right now. I mean, I'm sure all the other losers are too. But this girl is FOURTEEN. There are girls who don't get to be picked to be in their school plays who have nervous breakdowns. I've known people like that personally, or at least semi-personally. Let's hope she doesn't go the way of Haley Joel Osment, another young guy who lost out at an Academy Award at a young age. Guy was never the same. ALSO I had NO idea that that was the mom from the Fighter until my friend told me. She looks twenty years older in that movie.
Um..
Yes, so. Really, did that need to happen? Am I the only one who feels exploited and really, really uncomfortable? Kirk Douglas?
Inception for Cinematography
Err...I mean, yeah, Inception is a gorgeous movie. But how much of that is because of computers, and how much of that is because of the actual camerawork? Matthew Libatique deserved it.
Franco
So, did you guys hear? The internet is hosting the Oscars! And by the internet I mean James Franco, a guy responsible for at least 50% of the internets content (part Freaks and Geeks streams on Netflix, part New York Magazine, a publication whose mission statement may as well read "All Franco, All the Time"). ANYWAY. He's being incredibly Franco-like, at the moment--guys hosting the Oscars, and he's still acting like a stoned college kid hosting his frat's Air Band competition. Guy cannot be daunted. I'm typing this as whoever just won for set design gives his speech. Reaaally draws the line between the movie stars and the people behind the camera--I can imagine this guy thriving in Todd Solondz movies, and nowhere else.
(Also, P.S., did Mark Wahlberg just motion for Franco's grandma to take her shirt off?)
Back to the Future (of 1986)
Back to the Future was the lucky recipient of the "Best Effects" Oscar in 1986. I'm glad to see them back for tonight's intro. That being said, Visual Effects are often overlooked by viewers of the Oscars, but their quality is rarely lost on movie viewers. The nominees for Best Effects this year:
- Alice in Wonderland
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I
- Hereafter
- Inception
- Iron Man 2
James n Anne
I'm thinking they're trying to be cute, but I find myself chuckling more out of sympathy at their awkward jokes than actual "ha ha-ing."
Christian Bale?
Are we sure that the man with the Grizzly Adams beard and Tony Blair accent played Batman?
Justin Timberlake
After watching his character in the Social Network and reading an interview in which he claimed he wanted to shed the snarky persona he portrayed, his bowtie is definitely not helping his cause.
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