Oscars 2011

Here I sit, droopy-eyed and droopy-hearted. My underdog Social Network didn't win, as expected by everyone but me, and it's almost midnight and I could have gone to sleep way before that obvious choice was made. So much for the Academy ever giving an upset on such a huge category...

Round Up

Anne Hathaway definitely had more than "one drink" before the show. Her presentation, however, contracted with Franco's nonchalance to make the pair somewhat tolerable. There were not many surprises with Oscars, and "The King's Speech" came out victorious. Congratulations to all of the winners.

Well

I haven't really been able to pay attention since Franco's multi-layered performance art piece during the Best Actor category. And since I realized that The King's Speech--the one Oscar movie I haven't seen, and one I'm irrationally convinced I'd dislike--was going to win Best Picture. Which, of course, it did. Not surprised, not happy. Goodnight, everybody.

Best Picture Preview

10 Best Pictures? 10 pretty long clips? I've been in suspense the entire Academy Awards... Don't drag it out anymore! I wonder if the outcome will be Zuckerberg's Facebook status...

FRANCO!

So blah blah Colin Firth prestige pick blah blah haven't seen it who cares. Because something much bigger is happening.

James Franco's whole deal is that he's both part of the system and outside of it. He's an intellectual, after all. And the go-to reaction of most young, hip intellectuals to the Academy Awards is one big disaffected sneer. WHICH IS WHAT JAMES FRANCO, A CALCULATEDLY HIP INTELELLECTUAL, HAS BEEN DOING THIS ENTIRE NIGHT AS THE HOST OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS. Do you not realize how huge this is? He made a mockery of the whole self-serious enterprise! DID YOU SEE THAT EXAGGERATED SHRUG? THAT SMUG MUGGING (SMUGGING?). He just does not seem to care. At all. I don't know whether that's cool and punk rock or disrespectful and childish.

Marry Me, Sandra

Mid-forties? No way. Visions of Chris de Burgh (1986's singer of Lady in Red?) are dancing in my head.

Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman finally wins best actress for her role in "The Black Swan" after falling to Rachel Weisz for best supporting actress in 2005. Step aside Sandra Bullock, Portman will be presenting best actor in the 2012 Oscars. Looking forward to the dress.